Lucy and Me

When I was reading Lucy, one of the passages that really stuck out to me was this one: "how I wanted to go somewhere else. But now I, too, felt that I wanted to be back where I came from" (8). As I read this, I interpreted it to mean that she has always dreamed or lived for the moment when she could leave her home. But when she finally gets her chance to escape from her bonds, she felt as if she wanted to go back. As the story goes on, I feel like there is a conflict going on inside Lucy's head between the idea of being on her own and wanting to go back and the feelings of guilt for wanting this. I know exactly how she feels.

Ever since I found out that I could to choose where I wanted to go to college, I had always dreamed of going to Notre Dame. Last fall when I applied to colleges, I applied to both Notre Dame and Saint Mary's. But I only considered Saint Mary's because it was across the street from Notre Dame and my back-up plan, but I never really saw myself here. I started feeling more and more as if Saint Mary's was where I was suppose to be because it had so much to offer me, including my prospective major at the time. And when it took too long to hear back from Notre Dame, I started to convince myself that Saint Mary's was where I was meant to be in hopes that this would lessen the pain that I would feel when Notre Dame didn't accept me. When I first got here, I found it hard to adjust but I quickly settled in. But when I started going over to Notre Dame, I felt jealous of all the people who got accepted there because they were living my dream while I was forced to be separated for it. Later I would feel guilty for ever having these feeling because I still felt that Saint Mary's had so much more to offer me than Notre Dame ever would.

This short exert from Lucy really hit home for me as a way to explain what I was feeling. It was very comforting to read about someone who was having the same mental conflict as I was. It has given me a new strength to keep moving forward like Lucy herself is trying to do.